Distance

[Frey Willhazen]

Distance

I was just a few meters away from you
and yet I was walking away
Finding a quiet place
for you not to find me
Though words cannot describe my loneliness
I sat in the darkness
feeling the wind
as they're stroking my hair
wishing it was you...

and now comes tomorrow
when regretion of ignorance
is sending me back to the world of depression
to the hollow land of nothingness
simply waiting for you to be by my side again
with no distractions
just you and me
nothing else ....

[Erk Mizuhara]

hm.... interesting. Although, i can't say i enjoyed it. Sorry. A nice concept, and interesting poem, i just don't think you wrote it as well as you could have. I hate to say this, but I almost didn't read it. The layout just didn't strike my attention.

Nice ideas, just needs to be written a little better. Otherwise, a perfectly sound poem.

[Frey Willhazen]

i wrote that in 1 min ^^
it's ok ^^

[frank]

It's more than okay. It's a skillfully presented, meaningful, emotionally filled offering. Please don't consider comments concerning things like physical layouts, and lack of appeal to one specific critic, and simialr remarks as having value or validity.

Thanks for sharing these works with us. And by all means, regardless of the seeming lack of courtesy, continue posting your works. ^_^

For those critics who haven't read the Guidelines, it is strongly suggested that you do. That might save everyone a little bit of embarrassment.

[Frey Willhazen]

thankies frank ^^

[frank]

Indeed, and 'tis as it should be. All things in their rightful place, and all things in their rightful time.