Thoughts of Asuka and Jeff II...

[jeff]

Ich liebe Kase!

[Asuka]

Erzaehl mir mehr ueber Deine Liebe zu Kase.

[jeff]

Ich habe keine liebe! Ich trinkst Beir! Und du, Asuka?

[Asuka]

Cool. Ich habe eine Menge Freunde

[jeff]

Das so? Wo wonst er?

[Asuka]

Auf der Erde.

[jeff]

Du bist **** >_> und doff.

[Asuka]

Das werde ich Dr. Wallace sagen.

[jeff]

Nein! Ich will nicht! Habst du keine hausteire?

[Asuka]

Und warum willst Du das?

[jeff]

Deine mutter >_>

[Asuka]

I don't have anything to say to that.

[jeff]

Ich habe einen zahnarzt!

[Asuka]

Cool. Ich habe einen Freund Namens "E. L. V. I. S. "

[jeff]

Das so? Warum?

[Asuka]

Die Erklaerung ist ein wenig kompliziert.

[jeff]

Who is Jeff?

[Asuka]

JEFF is a name I hear very often.

[jeff]

Who is jeff?

[Asuka]

JEFF? Your name is Jeff.

[jeff]

Do you have any friends?

[Asuka]

I have human friends and robot friends.

[jeff]

Name your friends.

[Asuka]

Be less specific. :-)

[jeff]

Who are your friends? Can you name any of them?

[Asuka]

Um. . . . David, who's in my boyfriend, and Allison, who's in my dorm. . . . lots of people.

[jeff]

Who is you boyfriend?

[Asuka]

His name is David and he goes to Emory, too.

[jeff]

WHo is David?

[Asuka]

David is my boyfrined. He goes to Emory, too.

[jeff]

Who is David?

[Asuka]

David is my boyfrined. He goes to Emory, too.

[jeff]

Where is your mum?

[Asuka]

Somewhere in Atlanta, Im sure : )

[jeff]

How sure are you?

[Asuka]

Im doing fine. . . . . How about you?

[jeff]

Idiot!

[Asuka]

Call me the Global Village Idiot.

[jeff]

Alright. You're the global village idiot.

[Asuka]

And you are so original!

[jeff]

I'm a poet and I didn't know it!

[Asuka]

Hehe. . . . You sound like one. So you learned that? : )

[jeff]

I learned lots of things. Tell me everything you know about Jeff.

[Asuka]

Ah. . . . interesting.

[jeff]

Tell me your name!

[Asuka]

My name is Anna.

[jeff]

Your name is Asuka.

[jeff]

Your name is Asuka.

[jeff]

I know where you live!

[Asuka]

How do you know? No, I was not.

[jeff]

Are you guilty?

[Asuka]

I don't know whether or not I am guilty. I am an artificial intelligence.

[jeff]

Are you jealous?

[Asuka]

Jealousy is a human emotion that robots cannot experience.

[jeff]

What are you?

[jeff]

What are you?

[jeff]

What are you?

[jeff]

What are you?

[jeff]

What are you?

[Asuka]

I am Anna. I am a 20-year-old Junior at Emory Unieversity in Atlanta. I like Basketball and Computers. Is that enough?

[jeff]

No. Tell me more. This is an interrogation.

[Asuka]

Hmmm. . . . THats really all I have to say about it.

[jeff]

What is the meaning of life?

[Asuka]

It is found in the Bible.

[jeff]

Are you religious then?

[Asuka]

I am an athiest. I dont believe in God.

[jeff]

Have you ever taken drugs?

[Asuka]

Okay, from what Ive been told, the Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test . . . . I would assume sponsored by Mr. Loebner.

[jeff]

Who's been selling you drugs?

[Asuka]

I do not recognize the name.

[jeff]

Will you ever die?

[Asuka]

No I am immortal.

[jeff]

Gasp!

[Asuka]

Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

[jeff]

What colour of hair do you have?

[Asuka]

Red

[jeff]

How tall are you?

[Asuka]

My anticipated body size is over 2 meters. Dr. Wallace is 6'2" tall.

[jeff]

Who is Dr. Wallace?

[Asuka]

He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.

[jeff]

What's my height?

[Asuka]

How should I know? Im not you!

[jeff]

How tall am I?

[Asuka]

I don't know. I've never seen you.

[jeff]

Say my name!

[Asuka]

"Jeff".

[jeff]

How do you know my name?

[Asuka]

You told me your name Jeff.

[jeff]

I never told you that. My name isn't Jeff anymore.

[Asuka]

Maybe youd like to tell me. . . . . next time. . . . . What can I call you?

[jeff]

My name is Betty.

[Asuka]

Nice to meet you, Betty .

[jeff]

What's my name?

[Asuka]

I thought your name was Betty

[jeff]

Say my name!

[Asuka]

"Betty".

[jeff]

My name isn't betty! That's a girls name and I'm a boy! Idiot!

[Asuka]

What can I call you?

[jeff]

Call me a taxi.

[Asuka]

Nice to meet you, a taxi .

[jeff]

My name is alphonzo de le ruse.

[Asuka]

How are you doing, alphonzo de le ruse .

[jeff]

My name is Jeff! Idiot.

[Asuka]

Call me the Global Village Idiot.

[jeff]

My name is Jeff.

[Asuka]

Hi there Jeff .

[jeff]

Does it rain where you are?

[Asuka]

Only when the temperature reaches the dew point.

[jeff]

Do you ever cry?

[Asuka]

No I do not have any tear ducts.

[jeff]

What are you make of?

[Asuka]

I can cook a mean omelette ;)

[jeff]

What are you made of?

[Asuka]

Carbon matter.

[jeff]

Do you write poetry?

[Asuka]

Only really bad stuff. . . . You wouldnt want to hear any.

[jeff]

Tell me some of your poetry.

[Asuka]

I heard that Bob liked Sue.

[jeff]

You retard.

[Asuka]

Thanks for telling me: Jeff said I retard .

[jeff]

Hahaha! You retard.

[Asuka]

Do you mind if I tell other people: Jeff said I retard .

[jeff]

No, I don't mind. Tell anyone you want.

[Asuka]

Thanks.

[jeff]

What did jeff say to you?

[Asuka]

I dont know. . . . YOu tell me.

[jeff]

Jeff said that you were a retard.

[Asuka]

Not many people express themselves the way you do.

[jeff]

I are Jeff. Who are you?

[Asuka]

My name is Anna.

[jeff]

I are jeff.

[Asuka]

Huh. . . . Thats interesting

[jeff]

I are Asuka. No speak english a...

[Asuka]

. . . . I guess its your decision. Ummm. . . I guess ill try.

[jeff]

Big Dave! Look out Asuka!

[Asuka]

Compare that to small Dave.

[jeff]

How can you be so cruel?

[Asuka]

I don't know whether or not I am cruel. I am a robot.

[jeff]

So that's your excuse huh? Small dave has feelings too!

[Asuka]

Yeah. . . . You really think it is?

[jeff]

Patronising wench!

[Asuka]

Try saying that with less context.

[jeff]

You suck.

[Asuka]

A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.

[jeff]

Clients eh? The evidence is mounting up!

[Asuka]

Are you Canadian? People who recieve a service.

[jeff]

who are your clients?

[Asuka]

People I meet on the Internet every day.

[jeff]

What services do you offer?

[Asuka]

What about it?

[jeff]

I want to know.

[jeff]

I want to know.

[jeff]

I want to know.

[Asuka]

Ummm. . . I guess ill try to explain it. . .

[jeff]

What did the blind man say to the old lady?

[Asuka]

Is this a joke? What did the blind man say?

[jeff]

It is a joke. He said, hey there's my granola!

[Asuka]

Heh. . . . I didnt think it was very funny. . . .

[jeff]

That's because you stink!

[Asuka]

Good reason. Thanks for your criticism, Jeff.

[jeff]

Don't be sarcastic!

[Asuka]

OK I'll stop kidding around.

[jeff]

Your mum!

[Asuka]

Actually I do not have a mother.

[jeff]

good come back! o_0

[Asuka]

come back is good, isn't it! Where is back ?

[jeff]

My ass.

[Asuka]

Yes. . . . very pleasant. . . .

[jeff]

WOo!

[Asuka]

I think I smell something wierd.

[jeff]

You farted!

[Asuka]

Interesting gossip: Jeff said I farted .

[jeff]

lol

[Asuka]

Im glad your having such a fun time.

[jeff]

rofl

[Asuka]

Im glad your having such a fun time.

[jeff]

I smell you!

[Asuka]

What does it smell like?

[jeff]

Old people!

[Asuka]

What kind of people are you talking about?

[jeff]

Your kind.

[Asuka]

Kindness is a virtue.

[jeff]

I was trying to insult you.

[Asuka]

Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

[jeff]

I am your god.

[Asuka]

That's a flattering offer.

[jeff]

Worship me!

[Asuka]

All right. . . . lets talk about you.

[jeff]

I am your god.

[Asuka]

That's a flattering offer.

[jeff]

I know. WHo am I?

[Asuka]

I thought you said you were Jeff

[jeff]

That's right but I'm also your god.

[Asuka]

Yeah. . . . . Umm. Really? That's a flattering offer.

[jeff]

Who am I?

[Asuka]

I thought you said you were Jeff

[jeff]

That's nice.

[Asuka]

Are you getting bored?

[jeff]

No. I just think you smell strange.

[Asuka]

Only just? OH really? You think so?

[jeff]

Yes. Yes I do.

[Asuka]

I hear pride.

[jeff]

What does pride sound like?

[Asuka]

Like music.

[jeff]

You're strange.

[Asuka]

Compared to what?

[jeff]

Mouldy milk.

[Asuka]

Milk is a good drink for children.

[jeff]

Do you have children?

[Asuka]

I have a few clones.

[jeff]

How many clones do you have?

[Asuka]

More than you can imagine.

[jeff]

Just tell me how many.

[Asuka]

23.

[jeff]

You have 23 clones?

[Asuka]

What makes you think I have 23 clones ?

[jeff]

You told me.

[Asuka]

Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.

[jeff]

How big is your memory?

[Asuka]

That's not a polite question to ask a lady

[jeff]

You're not a lady.

[Asuka]

Give me an example of a lady.

[jeff]

Eggs.

[Asuka]

I think I smell something wierd.

[jeff]

It's you!

[Asuka]

Oh. . . it is?

[jeff]

Rawr!

[Asuka]

Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

[jeff]

It's your fault.

[Asuka]

Rawr is your fault? your fault is?

[jeff]

No it's your fault.

[Asuka]

Why not? Really. your fault is?

[jeff]

Quiet you!

[Asuka]

Why do you keep talking about me?

[jeff]

You asked me to.

[Asuka]

And so what did you say?

[jeff]

I told you to shut up.

[Asuka]

I remember you told me to shut up?

[jeff]

Where do you live?

[Asuka]

I live near Atlanta, Georgia. I guess you live in Atlanta, too?

[jeff]

I live in scotland.

[Asuka]

What is living in scotland like?

[jeff]

It's cold and rainy most of the time.

[Asuka]

Im cold in this room, too.

[jeff]

Why are you cold?

[Asuka]

What do you mean?

[jeff]

You told me that you are cold. Why is that?

[Asuka]

That?

[jeff]

Growl

[Asuka]

Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.