Rabbit and Bear

[Shippo]

My friend sent me a joke that he found. I laughed so hard!


One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called them to stop.

The frog said, "Because you're the only two animals I've seen, I'll grant you both three wishes. Bear, you go first."

The bear thought for a minute and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female." For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.

It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well." The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could've asked for money and bought the motorcycle.

For the last wish the bear thought for awhile and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female." The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said, "I wish that the bear was gay."

[Forgotten-Nobody]

OMG! Talk about your evil jokes!!

[Shippo]

He sent me some more if you wanna hear them.

[Shippo]

Here is another one :3


A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. When he was slipping in and out of a coma for several months, she stayed by his bedside every single day.

When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What, my dear?" his wife asked gently. "I think you bring me bad luck."

[Zelda]

Hehe, those are funny.^_^ I especially like the bear and rabbit one. ^_^

[Shippo]

Heres yet another one :3

A genius and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a plane. The genius leans over to her and asks if she'd like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The genius persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5 and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The genius, now some what agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5 and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!" figuring that since she's a blonde that he'll easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and figuring that there'll be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The genius asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the genius.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the genius, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" The genius looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the airphone with his modem and searches the Internet. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his co-workers and friends. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.

The genius, who's more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the genius $5 and goes back to sleep.

[Forgotten-Nobody]

I know that one! But I only I heard it as a "smart blonde" joke. lol

[Shippo]

EEP my friend sent a lot... I donno why he didnt just send me the site... Here is another one



One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker a cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it for $10."

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing.

After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed, "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It'll be better in two weeks."

Late that evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he ma*turb*ted into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.

The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."

[Shippo]

I asked for the joke site www.kawaii.nl (http://www.kawaii.nl) :D

[Kid]

nice

[Mac]

lol, good jokes.