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jeff
10-27-2004, 04:03 PM
Meretricious darkness

I cower in the darkness
my fears again, have found me
I do not move, I make no sound
breathing, is too loud.

The moon itself becomes a threat
a light with absorbed deceit
has become an effigy, of anxiety
that invokes my abhorrence .
It threatens to destroy, devour
my very unfledged self.

To be young is to have no grasp
of what is real or not
then why now still, do my stagnant fears pursue me in the dark?


Here is my first attempt in a long time on a poem. I wanted it to be free form, without symmetry because i hate to try and invent rhyming schemes!what do you think of it? possible improvements?
any good? :?

Jou-chan
10-28-2004, 12:32 AM
I think your poem is really good. Yeah I'm opposite I cant write poetry if it doesn't rhyme I dont know why though.

jeff
10-28-2004, 12:31 PM
thanks jou-chan!!!! I prefer to write poetry that doesnt rhyme because I hate being bound buy it!

Kawaii Shuichi
10-28-2004, 01:29 PM
It's really good jeff san.

I myself don't prefer rhyme scheme or free verse.

I just write what my heart tells me to write...how it comes out is all on it's own.

But indeed you're talented.

Can't wait to read more.

jeff
10-28-2004, 02:51 PM
thanks againKawaii shuichi! ^^
I'll try and write another poem sometime soon! maybe over the weekend. No time at all tomorrow :swe2: !

Kayla
10-28-2004, 03:01 PM
i love it Jeff ^^

Kayla
10-28-2004, 03:01 PM
i love it Jeff ^^