Limitless Egotism Workshop (Ikai's Thread)

[Limitless]

Same as the others but I expect a bit more outta ya...

I want a Character bio. Not one you've already got, but a new one. The character is to have the following requirements.

Name:
Age:
Height:
Weight:
Appearance:
Personality:
Techniques:
History:

I want a minimum of 800 words. Due to your preformance I'll either have you fix the mistakes I point out until I'm satisfied or set you to a new task.

Good luck.

[Limitless]

You have today, tomorrow and the next day to finish this assignment.

[Kaieru]

Name: Kaieru Minako
Age: Uncertain
Race: Mixture between anthro and demon (Not a nekojin or kitsune mind you.)
Species: Fox
Weight: 150lbs
Height: 6’ 0”
Eye Color: Yellow
Fur color: Brown

Description: As Kaieru is an anthro, he's made up of both an animal and a human. His body retains the human form, but his appearance is that of a normal day animal. His species is the fox, something not very rare in any anthropomorph village, or colony. Kaieru wears a torn white t-shirt and torn blue jeans, showing off the many battles he’s went through whilst traveling. His tail extends out to a length of 1 ft, the end of it straightening out, the tip colored black. Kaieru wears a headband, meant to keep his focus of channeled soul energy during battle, and has black wings, made like a dragons, coming out of his back. The area where the wings portrude is scarred, showing where the wings protruded from his back at the time of his making. His shirt is also torn in the back to allow room for his wings, as is his pants for his tail.

History: Kaieru was born out of the souls of many deceased anthros that died in battle. The goddess Kanoa, who was the ruler of the anthro planet, Techo, and creator of the anthro's, decided to bring about a new warrior, to protect the other anthros of the land. Unfortunately, she did not remove his free will, finding it too mean to proceed with. She had been warned. As Kaieru was formed, the evil souls had gotten mixed in with it, thanks to the Greater Demon Kano, Kanoa’s brother. Kano was the lord of the underworld, and had actually sent the demons to fight the anthros in the first place. He didn't like his sister's creations, nor did he like the fact that all of her creations didn't believe he existed. He wanted to show the world he did, and so it happened with the war before Kaieru's making. He fused the good souls with his bad ones, making a perfect blend of good and evil. But he had ways of getting what he wanted out of this. He fooled Kanoa into thinking that he had changed, that now he was only the ruler of the underworld and not some destroyer of the planet Techo, home to the anthropomorphs. She believed him, as it was her own brother, and let him mix the souls in. What she didn’t find, was that after the fusion was complete, and the vessel was picked, Kano had the memories that he wanted to implant in the new boy. He immediately visited the “Anthro Graveyard” where the last battle between the anthros and the invading demons was placed, the exact site that Kaieru was born. He fused the memories of a fallen warrior, whose last dying wish was vengeance into Kaieru’s mind, and awakened him. Kaieru immediately vowed to follow that last wish, seeking out anyone who would threaten him, or his people. He knew he couldn’t just stay at the world he was on. He knew there were others out there like him. The killing had just only begun.

Personality: Kaieru is very cold, very quiet, but very understanding. He never leaps into battle without having something planned, and he never kills anything that does not resemble a human in some form, whether it be neko, kitsune, anthro, or any other species. Humans, demons, and cyborgs are his mortal enemies. He also has a dislike for fairies, and angels, having been born as a half demon. His face always remains blank outside of battle, and he's never happy. He doesn't appreciate those that pick on others weaker then themselves, and those that think that they're "too good" for anyone.

Abilities

Lanko Stream: Kaieru calls forth a soul of his fallen brethren and powers his fists up in a blue aura, increasing their attack power. He is able to turn this soul energy into a projectile as well.

Jakodo: Kaieru calls up a soul of the warrior Jakodo. This enhances his techniques that involve his weaponry. A white aura is emitted around the weapon as he uses this technique.

Jak Blast: This ability is a soul energy move similar to the Lanko Stream, except it is a full projectile. The Jak Blast was also named after the warrior Jakodo, who had died centuries ago. He used this technique with his own soul, making it shoot out in a huge blast, but only used it in dire times. It usually left him almost dead, so he saved it for after he knew he was going to win, and that he needed it to finish his opponent off.

Soul Harvest: Finishing move. This technique calls forth ten spirits from the dead, all being the first anthros that had died in battle. As they come forth, he channels all of them into his body, then releases it as an explosive force.

Weapons

Dragon Blade: This sword was carved out of the scale of a dragon’s tail. The blade is colored an off red, not due to the blood stains. Its blade extends to three feet, whilst the hilt is another six inches. The blade contains three ends, two spike like ends in the middle, and the blade tip. The tip is very pointed, as well as the spike ends. A normal jab would do sufficient damage, but a slash or lunge would probably gut any normal human which is why it's Kaieru's weapon of choice.

Note: Kaieru will also pick up fallen weapons of those he slays (If this isn’t allowed take it off then)

Weapon Techniques

Haraku slash: Channeled Soul Energy is able to be shot out of his sword as he throws it down.

Geyser: When the Dragon Blade is thrust straight into the ground, the ground shatters and spreads out, exploding in a three foot radius. Very easy to dodge as you get a warning before it hits.

Lava Burst: After he uses Jakodo's soul, he is able to emit a stream of lava from the tip of his sword, shooting it out at a 6 ft length. Close enough and it'll fry ya ;)

[Limitless]

Thats 618 words. I asked for 800. Add abilities, add weapons, add more history, I dont care, but I want at least 800 words by the day after tomorrow.

[Kaieru]

That was a crappy movie.. o.o

*ahem* Added more.. I can't count...

[Limitless]

Just for reference, to get the words, simply type the character in word. You can use the Spell check to check for spelling errors and then use the "Word Count" option to discover how long it is.


EDIT: Right, congratulations chap, almost 900 words. When I'm done with my grading I'll edit this post again with your bio and the corrections I suggest or general points of information that I'd have stated differently for a more respectable feel.


EDIT 2:

Name: Kaieru Minako
Age: Uncertain
Race: Mixture between anthro and demon (Not a nekojin or kitsune mind you.)
Species: Fox
Weight: 150lbs
Height: 6’ 0”
Eye Color: Yellow
Fur color: Brown

Frankly, its hard to mess up something as simple as the stating of facts, although generally Race isn’t important in a character bio, seeing as how the History and Appearance/Description can be used to explain it better anyways.

Description: Kaieru wears a torn white t-shirt and torn blue jeans, showing off the many battles he’s went through whilst traveling. His tail extends out to a length of 1 ft, the end of it straightening out, the tip colored black. He wears a headband, meant to keep his focus of channeled soul energy during battle, and has black wings, made like a dragons, coming out of his back. The area where the wings portrude is scarred, showing where the wings protruded from his back at the time of his making. His shirt is also torn in the back to allow room for his wings, as is his pants for his tail.

Right, other than the misspelling of ‘protrude’ once in that, the description is relatively adequate, enough details to allow a vague image to the writer you are going against so that they can use things like “winged opponent” or “bandana wearing freak” instead of overusing the pronouns like He, especially before he knows the characters name. But, speaking of the over usage, that is one of the things I noticed. You used the same word over and over and over again. I’m sure your vocabulary is larger than this, and if it isn’t, use a thesaurus during writing and you’re vocabulary will grow bit by bit.

History: Kaieru was born out of the souls of many deceased anthros that died in battle. The goddess Kanoa decided to bring about a new warrior, to protect the other anthros of the land. Unfortunately, she did not remove his free will, finding it too mean to proceed with. She had been warned. As Kaieru was formed, the evil souls had gotten mixed in with it, thanks to the Greater Demon Kano, Kanoa’s brother. He fused the good souls with his bad ones, making a perfect blend of good and evil. But he had ways of getting what he wanted out of this. He fooled Kanoa into thinking that he had changed, that now he was only the ruler of the underworld and not some destroyer of the planet Techo. She believed him, as it was her own brother, and let him mix the souls in. What she didn’t find, was that after the fusion was complete, and the vessel was picked, Kano had the memories that he wanted to implant in the new boy. He immediately visited the “Anthro Graveyard” where the last battle between the anthros and the invading demons was placed, the exact site that Kaieru was born. He fused the memories of a fallen warrior, whose last dying wish was vengeance into Kaieru’s mind, and awakened him. Kaieru immediately vowed to follow that last wish, seeking out anyone who would threaten him, or his people. He knew he couldn’t just stay at the world he was on. He knew there were others out there like him. The killing had just only begun.

I can tell you put SOME thought into this, but just the way you wrote it or the way you phrased it for some reason made it pretty hard for me to follow. Also, you mentioned beings such as Kanoa and Kano, places such as Techo, and things known as ‘anthros’ and yet gave no explanation. When making a character bio, one wants to make it abundantly clear everything about their character. You should explane things of your creation or things that someone MIGHT not know so that it can be understood easier. And while you illuminated us to the past of the character, as in why he was created in general, we don’t know anything about why all these “anthros” were killed, why Kano wanted to mix the souls, how these battles killed the anthros or any information around the character that would give us more insight into the character’s past environment.

Personality: Kaieru is very cold, very quiet, but very understanding. He never leaps into battle without having something planned, and he never kills anything that does not resemble a human in some form, whether it be neko, kitsune, anthro, or any other species. Humans, demons, and cyborgs are his mortal enemies. He also has a dislike for fairies, and angels, having been born as a half demon. His face always remains blank outside of battle, and he's never happy. He doesn't appreciate those that pick on others weaker then themselves, and those that think that they're "too good" for anyone.

This is actually a way I’ve never taken my characters personalities, making broad statements about groups the preson doesn’t like or people that they do like. I’ve always gone into the intricate details of the mind, but I actually like the generalization in the Personality so that you can remember who he just WILL NO LIKE and who he should like when in a spar or rp.

Abilities

Lanko Stream: Kaieru calls forth a soul of his fallen brethren and powers his fists up in a blue aura, increasing their attack power. He is able to turn this soul energy into a projectile as well.

Jakodo: Kaieru calls up a soul of the warrior Jakodo. This enhances his techniques that involve his weaponry. A white aura is emitted around the weapon as he uses this technique.

Not bad so far. Calling forth dead souls and summoning the soul of a dead warrior both rely on a similar ability to call upon the dead, meaning so far you haven’t given yourself to many unexplainable powers. You’ve also marked each so that a person who has read your character will know when you are using them so that if you are using Closed style sparring, with the auto hits, then your opponent will understand that being hit by Kaieru using Lanko Stream will hurt more than simply being attacked normally. Although I do have something to say…

Jak Blast: Poorly named, but don't mistake this ability for being weak. It resembles the ability of KKF x 20 with a kamehameha, but is much harder to dodge, and drains Kaieru's health. He can hold it until he passes out, so he doesn't use it often.

That, while not a bad move per se, is VERY badly explained, relying on a knowledge of DBZ to understand what the move resembles. Any reference to things that exist in this world should be avoided in a bio, gives it a more professional appearance. Although I’ll give you some credit, making it where the blast is more powerful but still has a draw back, that’s something that needs to be taken into account now a days, one of the things that tell newbies from real sparrers or role players is the realization that their character is not inherently more powerful than their opponent.

Soul Harvest: Finishing move. This technique calls forth ten spirits from the dead, all being the first anthros that had died in battle. As they come forth, he channels all of them into his body, then releases it as an explosive force. The attack takes one post to charge, and one post to use.

That right there is a BIG mistake. Don’t put a post time on your ability, it’s a VERY bad idea. Also, it is referring to something that exists in this world, a person studying a fighter in the world you are sparring in wouldn’t know anything about “ KKF X 20 with a kamehameha” or “posts”. If you want to limit it, state that it takes a long time to prepare, meaning you can do something in the post to cause a distraction and charge it up and attack with it all in a single post.

Weapons

Dragon Blade: Not to be confused with the fabled Dragon Sword from Ninja Gaiden, this sword was carved out of the scale of a dragon’s tail. The blade is colored an off red, not due to the blood stains. Its blade extends to three feet, whilst the hilt is another six inches. The blade contains three ends, two spike like ends in the middle, and the blade tip. The tip is very pointed, as well as the spike ends. A normal jab would do sufficient damage, but a slash or lunge would probably gut any normal human which is why it's Kaieru's weapon of choice.

Again, not that bad but you refer to Ninja Gaiden, another thing pointing to your inexperience.

Note: Kaieru will also pick up fallen weapons of those he slays (If this isn’t allowed take it off then)

Weapon Techniques

Haraku slash: Channeled Soul Energy is able to be shot out of his sword as he throws it down.

Geyser: When the Dragon Blade is thrust straight into the ground, the ground shatters and spreads out, exploding in a three foot radius. Very easy to dodge as you get a warning before it hits.

Lava Burst: After he uses Jakodo's soul, he is able to emit a stream of lava from the tip of his sword, shooting it out at a 6 ft length. Close enough and it'll fry ya

Again, various things pointing to your lack of experience.

All in all, its just good enough for me to allow you to move to the next stage. Things you should work in the future are word usage, using more words instead of some repeatedly, as well as one thing that you REALLY need to understand about abilities. Your abilities are all well and good, but you one thing could save your ass in any given battle, and that is being broad in your technique descriptions. Instead of giving clean cut abilities such as, for example, the ability to shoot a fire ball, state that the being has pyrokinesis that allows him to generate and control fire, making the options of shooting fireballs, making fire shields, creating fire elementals and alllllll the like available to you in battle without being accused of making something up as you go along.


On to assignment # 2 with my star pupil...since you are the only one to finish the first assignment so far :roll: :P

Your in a large meadow surrounded by long blades of grass that comes up to your waist. Before you stands an enemy samurai clad in black armor that is edged with gold. Two katanas in polished black sheaths are at his side. He stands in a fighting position with his right hand upon the hilt of one of his swords. Dark clouds begin to form over you and you can feel that it will soon rain. Your task is to kill this enemy that stands before you.

Now, not only do I want you to kill this opponent in your post, but there are other requirements.

1. 1000 words at LEAST. Having made a character with almost that much I dont see a problem if you follow the rest of my criteria.
2. I want you to make this post in what is called Closed Style. Basically what this means is you control the opponent's movements as well as your own in your sparring posts. Were this a persons character, you wouldn't kill in the post without having thuroughly beaten them, but for this test it is fine for him to die in the end. BUT, being of Closed Style, I want to see damage given on both sides, you hurt him and him hurt you.
3. Make it fun and entertaining to read. :wink:

This is due by friday, but if you get it in by this time tomorrow, I'll give you a bonus. If its done by this time the day after tomorrow, I'll give you the same bonus, but not as good. :D You have till Friday, and I want it to be the best you've ever done, but if you get it in in the next two days you'll get a prize. 8)

[Kaieru]

((Right'o. I'll fix my bio after the post is done. Here goes...))

The fur moved slowly as he stood, waving like the blades of grass in the wind. He brushed back the tuff of “hair” that was on his head, the brown colored fur that was sticking out more then the rest of his fur. His bandana’s ends flew behind him, and his shirt waved wildly as well. The wind picked up higher, as if telling him something evil was here. He had his own sense of evil, though it was a lot more different then that of an average person. He walked forward through the meadow, having traveled here by a calling, something dragging him out here in instinct. He soon saw why.

An armor clad samurai stood in front of him, the ground under him smashed in somewhat. He was definitely human, something Kaieru didn’t like. The armor of the samurai was outlined in gold, showing that he had some sort of rank compared to the others. The armor covered everywhere but his face, and Kaieru took note of this, deciding to use this as an advantage. He stepped forward once more, and then started to circle, the samurai following the same pace. He stared blankly at him, never having a real expression on his face, even during battle. The samurai watched him closely, gazing at him carefully.

“You are the beast that tried to kill my clan.” The samurai warrior finally said.

“And how do you plan on stopping me?” Kaieru asked.

The samurai then smirked and ran at him, moving fast for someone in a load of armor. Kaieru brought up his sword, holding the hilt horizontally, the blade facing away from his body. He smashed it into the warrior’s armor, sending him back some, and then rushed him himself. The warrior snorted and bashed the hilt of his sword into Kaieru’s stomach, then smashed his right arm into the back of his neck. Kaieru hit the ground hard, but then he rolled out of the way as the samurai’s foot came crashing down. He spread his wings and smashed one into the side of the samurai’s face, then smashed the other into the opposite side, finishing off the attack with a head butt, planting it right in the middle of his forehead. The warrior stumbled as his head began to bleed. Kaieru watched him carefully, wondering if that would anger him or not. He still hadn’t gotten used to the way humans reacted, but this was a good time to figure it out. Even though it wasn’t much of a cut, it still made the samurai angry. Filled with rage, the warrior rushed him quickly, drawing his sword fully. As he ran, he growled out loud, the sword becoming surrounded by a white aura. Kaieru pulled up his own sword in a defensive position, but was too slow to block the oncoming attack. The warrior plowed into Kaieru, knocking him backwards and cutting his arm. He howled and retorted with a slash to the samurai’s back, then again with a kick into his chest plate. The sound of the sword hitting the armor was that of a loud “clang”, and sparks flew off the armor as well. The kick had knocked the warrior away though, and Kaieru jumped up, and then planted a spinning back kick, straight into the side of the warrior’s head. The warrior fell, but managed to get up slowly. Kaieru stared blankly at him, and then he smashed his sword back onto the armor. The samurai hit the ground again, and then tried to get up once more, but got smashed down again by the unforgiving Kaieru.

“I will let you live human. But spread the word,” Kaieru said, “That I’m not going to rest until every human that may threaten my kind is gone.”

He knelt down and grabbed the back of the warriors head, lifting it up so he could look into his eyes.

“Every. Last. One.”

He then smashed the head of the warrior into the dirt and grass, leaving him to be hidden and damaged under the tall grass. The samurai groaned and finally stood, then stumbled after the demon fox.

“I will not let you kill any longer! I swear by my name! You will di-“

Kaieru looked back at him, still with that blank expression, like as if he wasn’t even paying attention. He sighed some and turned his palm towards him. Very calmly, he said two words; the two words that would lead to the man’s death.

“Lanko Stream.”

His fist became surrounded by an aura of souls, and he brought it up, and then smashed it into the man’s armor. The man gasped for air and brought his hands around Kaieru’s, but was unable to stop the next attack. The fox demon smirked, then released the souls that powered his fist, blasting a hole straight through the samurai and his armor. The blast of energy even went through the other end, and smashed down tree after tree, until it finally thinned out and disappeared altogether. Kaieru removed his fist, and the man fell flat in front of him, a puddle of blood surrounding him.

“I would’ve let you live,” he said, “But you had to have a sense of honor didn’t you?”

Kaieru then turned and finally walked away, hoping the sign of a dead man would scare the humans enough to keep them from coming after him in groups. He opened his wings, and then flapped once, lifting himself into the air. He then flapped more, rising higher and disappearing into the sky. As he was gone, a few samurai’s ran through the brush, having been alerted by the energy blast that had destroyed three trees and made a firework type show.

“It appears they killed Heron.” One said.

“I think we might be dealing with a demon. We must be on guard at all times. Alert the village; send word to our brothers in the east. This demon must be stopped.”

The last speaker turned and picked up the fallen Heron, putting him on his shoulder. The other samurai’s, each adorned in regular black armor, with no trim, followed closely, keeping their eyes out for any sign of the beast that mutilated their leader.


(2000 something.... and I tried sensei... don't know if it's any good or not... but I tried. I've never done closed style before. And I was pressed for time. I have alot of other things I need to get done so if necessary I'll fix the post later.)


EDIT 1: ((1,041 now. And that's words. Not characters @_@))

[Limitless]

Sorry. Its only 2000 CHARACTERS, as in individual letters. Its only around 500 words. But I suppose I'll give you what I was going to and then after you read it you can work the post again.

What I was going to give you was a post of mine on how I would have written in this prompt considering I have a reply that I made specifically to use this setting. NOw, I'm going to post it and I want you to read it and understand that SO many different things can be done in battle because people think SO differently, so be prepared for any innovation you can think of and half again as many as you can't.



Ominous thunder rolled across the landscape, accompanied instantly by a blinding streak of lightning stabbing downwards from the heavens, as if cast by the gods themselves. The illumination it cast was unneeded, the night sky already ablaze with a rich tapestry of reds and oranges, flecks of sparkling, burning materials soaring skyward on the wind through the angry red sky and into the dark abyss beyond. Below, what resembled nothing more than a huge expanse of burning foliage was in reality the great Lord Takatori’s previously splendid, sprawling estate. Silhouettes of dancing, jeering figures could be seen even as far away as atop the hill that overlooked the site of the now burning town and estate of Lord Takatori.

Pain, rage, hatred, betrayal; these were the emotions that kept Shosuke on his feet, his eyes permanently locked on the fiery grave of his Liege Lord. He watched on, refusing to close his eyes to the annoying sting of smoke as it reached his eyes. For anyone but Shosuke it would have been impossible to know whether his eyes were watering from the pain of keeping his eyes exposed to the smoke or if he were crying.

The distinct clank of samurai armor announced the presence of an observer, and instantly Shosuke’s gaze moved towards the sound’s origin. The moment the black haired samurai’s eyes fell upon the person before him severe detestation became openly evident upon his visage; eyes alight with barely checked ire, his lip arched in revulsion, teeth clenched so tight the samurai’s gums began to bleed as the tattered form of Tetsuoshi Shosuke stood.

Shosuke’s garb was ragged and seemingly threadbare in comparison to how they had appeared before. The previously finely made shirt of the purest white now no longer was no longer color of a dove, but shown with a sheen of slick blackish-red blood, and by the very few tears in the fabric it was evident that very little of it was his own. Patches of white peered through the blood-soaked threads, or what should have been white were it not so dirtied by the kicked up dust and dirt from battle that it appeared almost tan or brown now. His leggings were still mostly in tact, it’s raven colored fiber hiding the coat of blood that layered it quite efficiently to any but the most close observer, and completely undetectable in the heat of night. The only evidence of blood from the waste down was the absence of the occasional golden star stitched upon his pants and the crimson spatter upon his now tanned socks. All in all he appeared lowly, beaten, and ragged.

“I had heard you fought your way through my lines towards this location” spoke the new arrival, a deep voice emanating from his place in the shadows, “I knew you would be here. This used to be where you were trained, neh? It’s only proper that you die here as well, looking like nothing more than a detestable ronin!”

Stepping from the shadows was a being straight from a nightmare. Obsidian armor shown brightly across his entire body, the plates of armor lined with splendid gold about its edges. Beneath was obviously a silken kimono of the finest Chinese craftsmanship, black as night with no markings upon it. At his waist hung his two blades, the short, dagger-like sword for indoor fighting, and the long, powerful, two-handed killing blade wielded by all samurai not only as weapon, but as badge of status to let all know they were samurai. His swords were sheathed in deep black scabbards, his left hand gripping the top half of the sheath, his right hand hovering over it prepared to draw and kill at the slightest movement or sound. But it was his head that made this menacing costume as threatening as it was. Resting upon his head, in the now obvious favored color of pitch black, shinning in the moonlight, resided a cursed and extravagant horned helm, horrible horns extending from it to give him the appearance of an evil kami come to plague the Takatori Family. Or at least, part of the Takatori family…

Shosuke’s bloodied mouth shot open as barked out, “RONIN?! Rather a ronin than a bastard who betrayed his Lord, his Clan, his Land…And his father! Ronin I may be now, but your coming to me has saved me the trouble of hunting you down you worthless, lice ridden barbarian!”

At the insults, Takatori Reji, the youngest son of the now deceased Lord Takatori, simply grinned in amusement as he continued to step closer to his one time rival for his father’s attention.

“You did this to your own land! You bastard! You burned your father’s home, YOUR home, to the ground as well as the most prosperous city in the fiefdom, and for what? It’s smoldering remains?! You disgust me! You destroyed the very thing you wanted to take over you imbecile!” Shosuke’s tattered form was now slowly advancing towards the equally forthcoming form of Reji, his hand already grasping his unsheathed sword, having lost his sheath hours ago during battle. “And worst of all, your stupidity has brought you before me. All this is for naught, because right here, right now, I’ll end your worthless existence!”

The last was shouted in unison with another deafening clap of thunder accompanied by lightning, and as if the lightning resembled Shosuke’s speed, he was swiftly baring down on his foe.

Instantly the black-haired samurai was upon the obsidian fighter, Reji fluidly wiping out his blade and lashing out to decapitate the lighting quick Shosuke. The sword’s edge slashed through the air, a distinct whistle sounding as it bore down on it’s target.

The most minuscule fraction of a second was all that separated the blade’s length from Shosuke’s neck when he suddenly snapped out of existence, his form simply dematerializing right before the traitorous samurai’s eyes. Takatori Reji’s blade swiped through empty air for a moment before he stopped it, dumbfounded and confused.

But the confusion only lasted a moment, his mind racing as he remembered rumors told about his father’s estate about Tetsuoshi Shosuke’s abilities. He had heard that in a fight Tetsuoshi was likely to simply disappear and only reappear with his sword embedded in his foe.

Panic lanced through Reji as he looked around swiftly, his terror stricken eyes dancing rapidly around to find his enemy. And find him he did…

It happened much to fast for Reji to react. Tetsuoshi Shosuke fell downwards like a bird of prey, his flexed, right arm held across his body, his sword prone to dice armor and rend flesh and bone. As he dove downwards, Shosuke’s previously withheld anger, rage, disgust, all mingled and focused towards slashing with unheard of speed and power to destroy his enemy.

“Tetsuoshi Shuzoku Ryu Koukuu Ryuu!”

It was finished. Tetsuoshi Shosuke was on his feet cleansing his blade before his inept opponent’s blood was sent pouring from his body, a gaping crater of slick crimson liquid spewing from it’s length, drawn from his left shoulder nearly to his groin, his body saved from being split in twain by the barest fragment of muscle.

It was done…


1,202 words.

[Kaieru]

((Whoops. Sorry. Will fix.))

[Kaieru]

Sorry Limitless... I just got a project I hafta work on... if you wish to train me s'more I'll give you the address I'm at. Someone can close this now.



<Kaieru>