Jade Angelice
12-28-2005, 01:38 AM
Introspection
I come back to myself and find that I am now in a warm, dark forest.
I can't see much, but the air feels thick and humid on the back of my tongue--it has recently stopped raining.
I breathe deep, scenting the night around me.
I don't sense movement yet, so I wait.
I take silent, padding steps deeper into the thicket.
The underbrush grows thicker and I freeze, my ears standing at attention.
Finally.
I can hear movement...
I scent the rabbit's fear on the breeze, and I grin inside my head.
I can almost roll it around on my tongue, like candy.
But my prey doesn't know I am here, it only senses danger.
The fear excites me, and my heart beats faster.
The rabbit's pulse thunders in my ears; I can no longer hear anything else.
I tense in preparation for the best part--the chase.
I crash through the underbrush faster than my prey can move away.
A normal wolf couldn't.
But I'm different.
Faster.
My paws trap it.
A normal wolf couldn't do this.
But my paws are different.
Bigger.
I stare down at the rabbit.
As it struggles, my breath comes faster.
Its pulse beats against the skin like a trapped thing.
I want so badly to free it.
I know that I can wrap my jaws around it and it will gladly come to me.
In a scalding wave.
It's what I crave, it's the thing I must have.
I lean close to the rabbit, pressing my muzzle to its throat.
Savoring the moment.
A normal wolf wouldn't do this.
But my mind is different.
Human.
I enjoy this.
I will hate myself tomorrow, but now, for tonight, I love it.
There will never be a greater joy for me.
I open my muzzle and descend.
I lift my muzzle skyward, and I know it's no longer white.
It's red, and wet.
Things thicker than blood slide down my face, and I feel enraptured.
My eyes find the brightness that is the full moon.
And with all the breath I have in me, I howl.
I'm screaming.
I scream because in this one moment, I am happy.
I scream because of the form my happiness chooses.
I should be horrified, or disgusted.
Tomorrow, I will be.
Tonight, I am one with the darkness.
I am home.
A normal wolf only kills to eat.
I'm not hungry.
But I hear a rustling in the trees.
A deer this time.
A bigger kill.
I bound after it, joyously.
I know it can't outrun me.
Because I'm different.
And this isn't nature.
This is an atrocity.
I am a monster.
I come back to myself and find that I am now in a warm, dark forest.
I can't see much, but the air feels thick and humid on the back of my tongue--it has recently stopped raining.
I breathe deep, scenting the night around me.
I don't sense movement yet, so I wait.
I take silent, padding steps deeper into the thicket.
The underbrush grows thicker and I freeze, my ears standing at attention.
Finally.
I can hear movement...
I scent the rabbit's fear on the breeze, and I grin inside my head.
I can almost roll it around on my tongue, like candy.
But my prey doesn't know I am here, it only senses danger.
The fear excites me, and my heart beats faster.
The rabbit's pulse thunders in my ears; I can no longer hear anything else.
I tense in preparation for the best part--the chase.
I crash through the underbrush faster than my prey can move away.
A normal wolf couldn't.
But I'm different.
Faster.
My paws trap it.
A normal wolf couldn't do this.
But my paws are different.
Bigger.
I stare down at the rabbit.
As it struggles, my breath comes faster.
Its pulse beats against the skin like a trapped thing.
I want so badly to free it.
I know that I can wrap my jaws around it and it will gladly come to me.
In a scalding wave.
It's what I crave, it's the thing I must have.
I lean close to the rabbit, pressing my muzzle to its throat.
Savoring the moment.
A normal wolf wouldn't do this.
But my mind is different.
Human.
I enjoy this.
I will hate myself tomorrow, but now, for tonight, I love it.
There will never be a greater joy for me.
I open my muzzle and descend.
I lift my muzzle skyward, and I know it's no longer white.
It's red, and wet.
Things thicker than blood slide down my face, and I feel enraptured.
My eyes find the brightness that is the full moon.
And with all the breath I have in me, I howl.
I'm screaming.
I scream because in this one moment, I am happy.
I scream because of the form my happiness chooses.
I should be horrified, or disgusted.
Tomorrow, I will be.
Tonight, I am one with the darkness.
I am home.
A normal wolf only kills to eat.
I'm not hungry.
But I hear a rustling in the trees.
A deer this time.
A bigger kill.
I bound after it, joyously.
I know it can't outrun me.
Because I'm different.
And this isn't nature.
This is an atrocity.
I am a monster.